When Charlie came to visit Alex I froze solid and shut down. Alex was enthusiastic and excited to go out with Charlie and help him move into his brothers apartment. While Charlie and Alex hung out at our apartment couple times Charlie told us about his ex girlfriend and the low and sad voice was difficult for me to open up because I just met Charlie and I was drinking, I was Alex new girlfriend.
When I look back at just meeting Alex I wasn’t good all the time. I treated Charlie cold and calculated like he was going to stir Alex into hard drinking and cheating. I didn’t think to open up while Charlie was opening his heart to us in the cab one night about the woman who broke his heart and how much she wrecked his life. Charlie was smart, handsome, cool, and was searching for a job as a fresh architect coming out of college.
I was too preoccupied with Alex who was too drunk to hold himself up. When he fell out of the cab Charlie and I just left him laying on the pavement and I am so sorry for that and for not being more of a friend for Charlie but I didn’t know what to say or do. Today I could see that it was Justin who I imagined Charlie seemingly to represent and I was the woman who ruined his heart or life. But I knew it wasn’t Justin and yet it was a strong feeling as Charlie had that effect on me as a familiar and attractive friend who needed healing and I couldn’t help well enough so I just gave him a ride home after dropping off Alex at the apartment drunk and as he passed out I was obliged to take Charlie home that late night safely to his apartment.
Thanks to Sara driving me around the city a couple years back it was easy to navigate around the north side of chicago. Charlie moved to California where he eventually found a job and we haven't heard from him after work picked up and nights out were too emotional at that time.
